I'd do it again, just kinder

3 July 2026

Recently, I've been thinking about what I would change if I could go back.

My candid answer is… probably not much.

I don't think I would change much of my decisions. I don't think I would change the path. Building a startup has been one of the best decisions of my life. I learned so much. I would not change the way of life that got me here.

Most of it was needed, even when it was hard. The pushing and building. The urgency.

The slightly crazy belief that things can be made better if you just keep going.

10/10 I would do all of that again.

But I would change my "temperature."

I would be kinder. Less angry. More patient. More grateful. Less emotional in the moments when emotion did not actually help, and actually backfired.

And honestly, if I had been more composed, I think I would have achieved the same results, if not better.

That part is a little annoying to admit.

Because when you are younger, you think the fire is the reason things work. You think the drive, the anger, the intensity, the angst, and the chip on your shoulder are the fuel and ingredients you need to do well.

TBF, sometimes it is. But not always.

Sometimes it just burns the people around you. And it burns you too.

I'm thinking about this more now as I go through being a dad and have had time to slow down and reflect. I'm watching my daughters grow, struggle, push boundaries, get frustrated, and try to become their own little humans.

And of course, I see parts of myself in them. Their intensity, stubbornness, and big feelings.

I see that in younger founders too. And you can't just tell a young person, "Hey, do the same thing but with less emotion."

It doesn't work like that.

Young people come with emotion, and that gives them strength, energy, and courage. It makes them care deeply.

But as you get older and acquire some wisdom, you learn that you can still care without carrying so much anger.

You can still push hard without making everything feel like war.

You can still build, win, and do difficult things in a kinder way.

A way that makes other people feel better.

And maybe more importantly, a way that makes you feel better too.

That is the part I'm slowly learning.

I obviously don't want to lose the drive and become passive. I still believe in doing hard things and holding a high bar. Performance matters.

But I want less angst in my system. No need for unnecessary heat. ❌🔥

Same ambition. More patience, gratitude, and calmness.

That is growing up.

P.S. If you ever felt my angst and were burned by it, please feel free to contact me. I'd buy you kopi/tea. We can talk about it, so I can reflect and learn, and hopefully we can give that incident some closure.